


Batsu Game

by enigmas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Betaed, Getting Together, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, bet, both boys panic a lot, or moderate angst idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmas/pseuds/enigmas
Summary: "Let’s just say; whoever says 'I love you' first has to dye their hair hot pink, and no half-assing it"Kageyama and Hinata are thing-ing, neither knows how the other truly feels… though they can feel /something/. But upon a spur of the moment bet prompted by Kageyama, after Hinata asks an oblivious question about their relationship, the 'competition' ensues.These two fools go through their own mini crises to answer the unbearable question of “what is he to me?” and end up exploring each possibility.Who will crack first?
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41
Collections: HQ Mini Bang





	1. The Bet

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This is my work for the HQ Mini Bang! Im Paired with two wonderful artists, [Vendy](https://twitter.com/Tall_Oddball) and [Captain Bonan](https://twitter.com/chaosloaf1?s=09), who were so lovely to work with. Their pieces will be posted in the last update of this fic, so please stay tuned for their beautiful art!!
> 
> It has also been beta-ed by my best friend [Izu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/izuchi)!!
> 
> Posting should be finished by July 14th (should be between 7-9 chapters overall), so in the meantime, make sure to check out the other works in the collection as well :)

Hinata wasn’t quite certain how they had gotten to this point, seemingly more oblivious than usual. Sitting in his desk, his dorm room dark, he spun in his chair, round and round, not knowing how much time had passed. Kenma hadn’t come back yet from his evening lecture and it seemed to escape Hinata’s mind to turn on the lights when he got in. It had been long since the sky had darkened, and the bright white walls began to look hazy. His thoughts were as erratic as usual, though the subject matter wasn’t. Questions were swimming through his mind so fast, he was drowning in them, and a sentence echoed in his head.

"Lets just say; whoever says ‘I love you’ first has to dye their hair hot pink, and no half-assing it".

…

. . .

Wait. WhaT?!

When Kageyama had all but tossed out those words… Well, Hinata’s mind stopped. Kageyama had turned and waltzed away with a smirk on his face and a zombie trailing behind him.

Hinata took a moment to reboot. What had he asked again? Ah yes, that's it!

_“I'm not sure what to call our relationship… What would you say it is?”_ Kageyama’s response was there, not a second later, with not an ounce of hesitation.

Whoever says I love you first.

Whoever says I love you first...

_Whoever says I love you first...?!?_

Were they really at that point? Was that how he felt? IS THAT HOW KAGEYAMA FELT??? His mind was in overdrive and when he kicked back in, he chased after the other through the campus quad with a ‘BAKAGEYAMA’ flying through the air.

Now, he was home. He was home and confused as f u c k. After that moment, neither had even mentioned it, but the moment he had waved goodbye at the crossroads of their dorm hall, his brain flooded, and he all but sprinted to the front door.

For some time it had felt as though he was closer to Kageyama. Perhaps more comfortable, perhaps more touchy. They had even been seeing one another each day after classes despite the sheer amount of homework both of them had. And he didn’t question it. Hinata may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's no idiot to not see the change. It’s just that he didn’t seem to mind it as much as he would have anticipated. But to say he was shocked at this newest development was an understatement.

For weeks, Hinata had told himself that they were becoming closer friends, though as he recalled Kageyama's voice, the confidence he boasted, a butterfly shuddered through his stomach and he felt heat rise to his neck and ears. He had never particularly imagined a certain black haired classmate in _that_ way before, it shocked him that, clearly, the other had! Toward himself no less!

God, all this thinking was making him hungry.

\--

“You’re not a vacuum, idiot, slow down”, came a snarky comment, swiping around Hinata at the dining centre table. Tsukkishima plopped down across from the ginger, who had been scarfing down some rather unappetizing… Uhh, meat conglomerate?

“I can be a vacuum if I want to be!” He piped back, energy sprouting out of him like a freshly planted tree. He heard echoing scoffs from Tsukki and another behind himself. 

“Don’t let your dreams be dreams tangerine, you can clean the world with that passion!'' Kuroo snickered at Hinata’s now grumpy face, taking a seat beside him. “Where’s Kenma? Isn’t he normally out of class by this time?”

“He met wiff the gwoup for his compsci ashignment” his food slipped from his stuffed cheeks and down his throat with a loud gulp. “I think he’s on his way now! And Tsukki, is uh Kag- Kageyama going to be here soon?” Hinata felt his skin heat up and the sound of his own stutter. _What the hell??_

“How should I know? I’m not his mother”.

“But you are his roommate”, sighed Kenma as he appeared behind Tsukki from the buffet counter. He slid down into the seat across from kuroo. “Couldn’t you text him and ask yourself?”

Hinata’s eyes zoomed in on Kenma, piercing with intensity. Kenma stared back lazily, then after a moment, tilted his head in acknowledgment. 

Being roommates with Kenma truly had its advantages. Sure he was a bit of a slob, and he never closed the toothpaste cap, but on a deeper level he was very perceptive. And after spending the last two and a half semesters with Hinata, he had begun to understand the signs. That small, crazed look he had shot the blonde, Kenma understood. What that meant was, in layman's terms: _imdyingimdying for the loveofgod h e l p m e_ , and additionally, _I'LL TELL YOU LATER_ . Hinata slumped in return with relief, no words necessary, not that he was very good at those for the moment. Why was he reacting like this? His skull was blissfully empty until Stingyshima had to go and ruin his mind numbing dinner binge. It had only been a few hours since, but Hinata felt close to crazy needing to tell someone else about it. That someone being Kenma, who was LATE. If he was being honest with himself, he didn't even know if the two of them were close enough to divulge this kind of matter, but regardless, he knew that Kenma was the only one he could _trust_ with it. And he _needed_ to spew all these pesky thoughts.

The other two young men were oblivious to the change in dynamic of the table, continuing on their own conversation. It seems as though the world was only ending for him; that crosses apocalypse off the list.

As dinner went on, the four of them chatted along, but to Hinata’s dismay, or relief, Kageyama didn’t show. For Kageyama, this wasn’t totally out of character. Upon occasion he would get a little too invested in an assignment he was working on, living on a different clock than the rest of them. On those nights, he would opt to cook his own small meals in the tiny dorm room kitchenette, as to not disturb the flow of inspiration. And on this night, it filled Hinata with a sense of lingering disappointment as the group made their way back to the residence building.

\--

“Kenma what the fuck does this mEAN???” Kenma couldn't utter a sound in response before Hinata continued on. “I mean one moment everything I felt about him was entirely platonic, but it doesn't feel that way anymore!? Like… uh, like, does that mean he uhhhhhh…. Feels that way about me? Was he just joking, to tease me? Who says something like _that_ ? Can you say _something_??” Kenma opened his mouth, and the next shout made him wince. “I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!!!! Do you think he's thought at all about how that would change things??? I need to know what he’s thinking…”

“Here's a better question, Shouyou. How do you feel?”

“Huh?” He blinked and halted his pacing of the room. Shooting a glance down at Kenma lounging on his bed, who was looking right back at him. Hinata froze once again. It dawned on him that he was acting like a lunatic. The moment they had gotten back to their dorm, Hinata practically burst! He laid the whole scene out for Kenma, telling the story as if it were a screenplay before his own eyes. The way the overcast light of day had made the frosted leaves on the ground look like they were placed there just for this… Confession. He described in excruciating detail everything that led up to the line, albeit how thoroughly needless each detail was. His hyperfixation led him to completely forget that he was actually talking to another human. Hinata slowly eased down onto the bed across from the other, the fluffy blankets below added a sense of comfort he didn’t realize he needed. _Okay Shouyou, calm the heck down_.

“Ah yes, welcome back to earth. How were your travels?” Hinata did no more than roll his eyes at his companion; Kenma sighed. “Now that you’ve calmed down a touch, how does this make you feel? Do you like him? Forget about what Tobio might feel”.

“Forget about what he feels?” The sheer mention of the name had Hinata flustering again, pulling at the edge of his throw blanket, as though it might act as a shield to the insecurity seeping into him. “I suppose… I… I do like him. But I don’t know why! Or how!! Or when this even happened!? It’s not as if I only feel this way because he said something, more like him saying it, well, unlocked those feelings…”. The more he spoke, the more embarrassed he felt. He knew he was safe with Kenma, in their shared room, nothing said would leave these walls. But now that he was saying them outloud, just like he oh-so-wished to do, it felt a little too real, and a little too vulnerable. “I want what he said to be real. I hope it's real”.

Kenma nodded slowly, the gears in his analytical mind began to grind, and Hinata desperately hoped that it meant there was a solution to his woes. “Why don't you try testing him?”

“Testing him? What do you mean? It’s not as if Kageyama is an experiment”.

“But what if he was? The scientific method states that after you’ve made a hypothesis, the next step is to experiment”.

He should’ve known asking Kenma for advice would just be a little too robotic, too systematic. But it was his only option. “So what is the hypothesis? You said there was one already?”

Kenma sighed again, what a chore. “That Tobio _likes_ you, maybe even L-”

“DON'T SAY IT!!!!” The beet red face across from the blonde was quickly hidden as Hinata threw himself under his covers. “I get it, I get it”, came his muffled voice through the layers. “What do you suppose I do?”


	2. Testing, testing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to mention that I know nothing about university in japan, so I apologise for that not being accurate. Im writing the university components based on my personal experience with school, and also what others have told me about living in residence.
> 
> Please enjoy chapter 2!

The fresh and early morning air filled Hinata’s nose as he strolled down the central path of campus the very next Saturday morning. Today he had a mission, not one that he was entirely confident in, but a necessary one no less. He thought back on the game plan Kenma had given him, sorting through the check list. 

First step, play hard to get. This meant he had to avoid him, but strategically. Only leaving a room after Kageyama had arrived, make sure there was eye contact, Kenma had used the word ‘intensity’. Second step, highlight interest elsewhere. Hinata was most unsure about this one, what good was setting up the guy he ~likes~ with other people? Kenma claimed that this would be a good pushing point, especially to see if Kageyama’s interest was indeed with Hinata, or if it was more ambiguous than that. It confused him but he’d still do it. The last step was what they named ‘Hinata Trivia’. For this one he would get active help from his roommate, a series of carefully placed questions about Hinata, during a seemingly meaningless conversation with Kageyama. Kenma would ask or allude to certain facts about Shouyou, this would show them how much attention Kageyama gave him at any given time, how much information he kept stored in that big brain of his.

This felt like far too much in Hinata’s opinion. Wouldn’t it be much more simple just to ask? Wait- scratch that, there was no way he could face Kageyama with that question… He tried to clear his mind again, to focus on the first task at hand; breakfast!

\--

He arrived in the dining hall quite a bit earlier than he normally would. Kageyama tended to show up for breakfast fairly early on a good day, and if Hinata wanted to start his plan and also have a belly full of pancakes, he’d have to pay the price of a 6AM alarm.

Grabbing his plate and sitting down at their usual table, he felt the butterflies erupt in his tummy. He realized that he hadn’t actually seen Kageyama since the confession. It felt too early to start the plan. Should he at least be casual for a few days first? But his thoughts caught short when Kuroo filtered into the hall. No, he stopped himself, you’ve already made the first step, just keep going.

Kuroo arrived at the seat across from him with an overloaded tray. “What are  _ you _ doing here so early? Shouldn’t you be in your room fighting Kenma awake?”

”Mnn don’t worry about it, couldn’t sleep or something”. His eyes were trained on the door to the hall, waiting for his certain someone. He was too anxious to actually think about what he was saying to Kuroo. He just had to eat breakfast fast enough, and leave as soon as Kageyama arrived, which seemed simple enough. But after the strange look from Kuroo he didn’t bother to acknowledge, and his whole plate of food disappearing, nothing could have prepared him for the emotions he’d feel just by laying eyes on Kageyama. As the other entered, he was filled with nervous energy and it was palpable. Now it was just a matter of him looking back at Hinata, which he had not realized would be such a scary concept.

"Uhhh, hey man, are you okay??” Hinata whipped his head around to Kuroo.

“Yeah!! I'm great, totally super fine”. Kuroo’s expression showed disbelief. That poor soul had been watching Hinata sweat for half an hour, and he wasn’t going to get any consolation. When Hinata had looked back in the other direction he made immediate eye contact with the man of his thoughts, and shot up from his seat not a second later.

Kageyama looked vaguely surprised to see his friend turn into a bottle rocket, but couldn’t seem to focus on it long, as Hinata tried to activate his “intensity”. They stared one another in the eye, Kageyama looking confused, whereas himself surely looked like a crazed madman. He could feel how uncomfortable his own stare was but when his mind told him it was time to leave the hall, he froze. He didn’t want to look away now that he had locked eyes with the person he had newfound feelings for. The fear that had built up to this moment had him hyper fixating on each feature on Kageyama’s face. From his nose, to his lips, his jawline, the fringe of his hair, and finally his dark blue-black eyes. Those eyes in which he could spend a day staring at, watching how the colour changed throughout the day. Like small storms that would show his emotion in the slightest of ways, though right now, he couldn’t decipher the emotion in them. His counterpart finally blinked and Hinata fell out of the trance. Quickly, he grabbed his bag and tray, sweeping past Kageyama like a flash. He dumped his tray at the nearest return receptacle haphazardly, before slipping through the door with as much composure as he could muster. So probably none at all. But he had completed the first step of task one. He’d just need to do this numerous times. All of them being horribly, mentally draining.

\--

Now, on Monday morning, after two straight days of avoiding the one person he wanted to see, Kenma informed him that that was the day they initiated phase two.

Oh by god he didn’t want to do this. Aside from the idea of setting his new crush up with someone else, he was nervous about plenty of things involved. He didn’t even know if the man was officially gay!!! Like sure, they’d discussed whoever was most attractive on various sports teams, but he always thought that was objective, and also an activity they did with the other boys. Did this mean he had to try to set him up with guys and girls? Only guys? Only girls? Anyone in between or otherwise? He wasn’t even quite sure what exactly he was testing for. It could be if he’s even attracted to men, or if he’s attracted to no one. Hinata’s overwhelmed brain couldn't quite understand the point of this part of the experiment, it just felt too counter-intuitive.

Today, they had a sports med class together and he had to do his best to make it casual. That in itself would be somewhat difficult as he hadn’t talked to the other man since friday.

So as Hinata’s EDUC 251 class was let out and he ran across campus to the Kinesiology building, his mind was swimming with anxiety. And after the long approach, he neared the class and also a certain black haired classmate. “Hey Kags!”  _ Ohno, too much enthusiasm… _ He could see the clear surprise on Kageyama’s face.

Kenma had examined the results of part one. He hadn’t been impressed. He told Hinata that although Kageyama showed concern for the quick disappearances. He hadn’t gone after Hinata himself. They had been hoping that Kageyama would reach out, perhaps ask why they weren’t spending their usual time together in the library Sunday evening, but it didn’t come. Some would argue that two days wasn’t a long enough testing period, but it's not like Hinata would miss class for this, nor would he be able to so blatantly ignore the other just across a lecture hall. With that first fail, Hinata wasn’t feeling all too confident.

“Mn, yeah hi”, he responded, hesitation clear in his voice. Weird, Hinata thought. If the first test was a fail, why does he seem to be reacting now? Maybe Kageyama didn’t actually want him around at all???

“Have a good weekend? UHhh, I mean-, how’d last week's assignment go for you? I didn’t think it was too bad, kind of thought the self study bit was actually kind of fun. School’s been pretty busy recently, sure would be nice to go out or something, meet new people you know? Oh! Class is starting, let's get inside! Lotsa learning to do, gotta make our brains strong...” Hinata was losing it, he knew.  _ At least I'm self aware, _ he thought to himself while speeding over to his favorite lecture seat. 

All things considered, he's not quite sure during the fifty minutes that he’s forced to sit next to Kags for this class, if it would be a good or bad thing if the other tried to talk to him. On one hand it would be what they wanted; Kageyama showing interest and reaching out. On the other hand, he was mortified from the past two days, or past two seconds, and also filled with an immeasurable amount of crushing self-doubt. If Kageyama were to lean over and just ask ‘Why were you avoiding me?’, Hinata was certain he’d melt straight through his spring loaded seat, and straight down into the depths of hell where he belonged…

One minute… Five minutes… Twenty… The clock ticked by, abhorrently slow, and not once did he even feel Kageyama’s eyes drift over to himself. He couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed. This testing was becoming agitating, to say the least. Constantly he felt as though he was playing tug-of-war with his emotions. One side told him he was angry and frustrated, that he should just stop torturing himself like this just for Bakageyama. But the otherside told him to hold on hope, despite the constant state of disheartened sludge his brain, or heart, was turning into. There’s only so many times he could remind himself  _ it’s only for a few days more  _ or  _ it's only been two days, you can do better than that _ , he frankly didn’t want to hear it, most definitely not from his own conscience.

Finally, his third class of the day was over, and he had a two hour break ‘til his next. Unfortunately for him, it wouldn’t be the relief it normally was.


	3. Connections

When their prof announced that they were free to go, Hinata stood a little _too_ fast. Kageyama jumped a bit in his seat at the abrupt movement, though still collected his items, seemingly calm. When he stood as well, he looked expectantly at Hinata. “Are we getting lunch?”

Hinata was too busy fluttering his gaze around their surroundings and avoiding eye contact to truly see Kageyama’s expression. He could only imagine how annoyed he must have looked. What was worse, was that he needed to initiate phase two, like, immediately. He wasn't ready. _Here we go! I guess…_

“Uh yeah! Totes! I arranged to meet some friends in the courtyard outside of bio, ready to go?” Finally taking a look at Kageyama's face, all dark and glower-y, he wondered if Kageyama wanted to go with him at all. Nevertheless, he nodded and followed silently, surprisingly so, as normally he’d have _something_ to be complaining about. But nothing came during the entire five minute walk to the ‘friends’ he insisted on seeing.

As they approached the group in question, Hinata heard Kageyama sigh. Hinata ran up to the one and only Oikawa Tooru, sitting with a few of his own friends. “Hey guys!! I brought Kags with me, if that’s alright!” Hinata tried to ignore the look Iwaizumi was giving him as he barged into their lunch group, he didn’t look too happy to have new members.  
  


  
The relationship Hinata and the others had towards the Aobajohsai boys had evolved a bit since their time in highschool. Whatever bad blood there had been prior had mostly dispersed, having reached a standstill when they all eventually started university. Most of them were studying entirely different things and there really wasn't much to compete over anymore. That being said, it was fairly unusual that Hinata was taking Kageyama to see Oikawa of all people. Usually, if they were to ever engage with the other group, it would be in bigger numbers as neither of them have very strong relationships with the others. Kageyama, in particular, had a very odd relationship with Oikawa still, which led Hinata to feel quite wary about his plan. He didn’t know a lot about it, he knew that they had a bit of a history. He was just hoping that it was chill enough to get through this interaction unscathed. 

He certainly _did_ ask himself why he chose Oikawa for this task. At first, the tension had been a great factor. Kageyama didn’t have many relationships outside of their friend group, which made it difficult to choose a potential ‘match’. But upon thinking through it further, he had realized that although he was testing Kageyama, it didn’t mean he had to test the match as well. So, when Hinata had met with oikawa between classes the day prior, he didn't just ask to hang out for lunch. Hinata didn’t trust Oikawa all that much, nothing personal (okay maybe a little personal), but he didnt feel it necessary to tell Oikawa the whole plan. Instead, Hinata had expressed his idea as more of a prank, with better hope of getting the other on board. Their plan had come down to Oikawa agreeing to try and ‘sex Kageyama up’. Hinata didn’t like how… Enthusiastic Oikawa seemed to be about it at the time, being that he suggested minor flirting, and Oikawa seemed ready for the hunt instead.

“Hey there Small Fry! No worries, it’s quite the _pleasure_ for _Tobio_ to join us”. Oikawa laid it on thick in just his first sentence, makingHinata worry. He looked over at Kageyama to see any reaction, and in fact there was one. Kageyama had a distinct frown on his face, though it looked vaguely closer to nausea than straight displeasure. Promising.

Iwaizumi muttered in a low voice, “Since when do you call Kageyama by his given name?”

Oikawa frowned. “Since whenever, Iwa, doesn’t matter. I’m just happy to see him”. He turned back to Kageyama to flutter his eyelashes at him, adding a little wink. Kageyama's frown deepened but he stayed silent. The reluctance to engage with the others had been very clear. Hinata likely should have been most worried about that, though he couldn’t help but watch Iwaizumi. The man never had the best social skills, but he seemed particularly moody this day, glaring at Kageyama and flipping back to look at Oikawa. _Jealousy maybe?_ It sure felt that way. The other guys sitting with them didn’t seem to care about their presence at all. 

He reminded himself not to get sidetracked, he wanted this over with, _fast_. “So guys, school’s been pretty hectic lately huh? Second sem and all, I'm getting pretty tired. Sure wish we could go out or something…”

“I totally agre- “

Iwaizumi cut in, “We should be focusing on studying for exams, not on partying”. Oikawa looked scandalized at Iwa.  
  
“Iwaizumi is right. We’re too busy for that”. Kageyama had finally said his first words to the group, and he said it with a scowl, not looking at anyone in particular.

There was a tight lull in the flow of conversation that had just started. “Bu-But I mean, some stress relief might be good for us!” He rushed out after the delay had begun to feel uncomfortable. Hinata had to reel back the tension. He anticipated Kageyama being in a bad mood, but if he had known Iwa would be so forthright, he would have asked for Oikawa to be alone… “One night won’t kill your studying”.

“Nicely said Shortstop! I can personally say that I’d love to get to know _some people_ a bit better, perhaps go out dancing?” Oikawa shot a glance to Kageyama, then to Hinata. Hinata nodded in thanks.

“Dancing is a great idea, we could go in pairs! Me and Iwa, Kags and Oikawa, how’s that sound?” His eyes scanned the other three faces around him. Moment of truth.

Iwaizumi made a bit of a jolt, “You- !”

“Fuck that, I’m leaving”. Kageyama stood fast, and stormed off even faster. Hinata gaped at his distancing form. He felt bad, and he wasn’t sure why. Watching him practically run away, being very clearly upset in some way, didn't feel like the success that it should have been.

“AHA! AHAHAHA! WOW! Did you see his face?! He was so mad! Priceless”. Oikawa rolled in laughter, loud and obnoxious until he got a smack on the shoulder from Iwaizumi.

“Dumbass! You did that on purpose!” Iwa was fuming.  
  
“Yeah! But it was so worth it”, he grinned his response at the other who continued to frown. He turned back to Hinata. “That the result you were looking for?”

He took a glance back to where Kageyama had disappeared, “Uh, yeah actually…”

\--

Hinata couldn't focus on anything, especially not his school work. There was a pit sitting in his stomach and it was making itself very comfortable. He kept running his thoughts over the barely three minute lunch escapade. He couldn’t explain why he felt so guilty. It was stupid Kageyama’s stupid fault for setting the bet in the first place. It's not Hinata’s fault to have to play off of it. But that didn’t feel like a good excuse anymore, nor did it give Hinata any solace. He knew from the moment that Kenma suggested it that he wouldn’t like doing it, and that fact almost made him feel worse. Hinata wasn’t the brightest guy, he got average marks in all his classes, but the one thing he knew how to do was follow his instincts, and he failed to do so this time.

As usual, right around 5pm, Kenma came home. All he got the chance to do was set down his bag before Hinata ambushed him. “Kenma! I can’t do that again!!!” As Hinata, dropping to his knees, gripped onto Kenmas pants for dear life, almost grovelling.

“Okay wait, what happened? You did test two today, right?” Kenma took the liberty to slowly peel his friend from his legs, and eased himself to the floor next to him.

“It was bad. So, soosososo bad”.

Kenma took in his watery, pleading eyes, “Tobio took the date?” With hesitation, he had reached out his left hand to gently pat Hinata’s shoulder.

“No…” Seeing the confusion on Kenmas face, he knew he had to just explain the whole thing. “No, he didn’t accept the date, instead he ran away! Oikawa played his part just fine, suggesting going dancing, but it was all over when I said him and Kags should be dance partners! It felt like we got there, said two words, and then he was already gone. He looked so upset, man. I don’t want to do that again. I don't know what he’s thinking, but I can’t, not for his sake or mine. I know you said we should do it a few times but…” He trailed off, being unable to properly describe why.

“Hrmm…” Kenma leaned back in thought, his shoulders resting against Hinata’s bed behind him. “I think… I think it should be fine if we skip the other tests in part two. We’re kind of starting at zero again though, because we have one fail and one success”.

Hinata had felt annoyed before, and a bit hopeful still. But just after one more day, he was ready to give up. Why? He had never felt so completely unsure of his emotions. Normally his brain would just choose one and stick with it. But that's not how it worked anymore, because now his heart was involved. On top of everything he was dealing with, most of all, he kind of resented Kageyama for offering the bet to begin with. It was like dangling a treat in front of a dog with no intent of giving it to him. He wondered if this is what Kageyama was looking to get out of him after he had said it. And he couldn't stop wondering what the intent was in the first place. Was this all just to get a funny reaction from Hinata? Or was there an actual purpose to this madness?

“That means number three is going to be our tie breaker”, he let out a short breath. “I'm scared”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Oikawa makes a cameo. Id just like to make a disclaimer that because the universe I'm writing in has no focus on whether or not they played any volleyball in highschool, the relationship dynamics are different, and I din't really want to put a focus on that. So its a bit brushed over, but that aside, I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 3!!
> 
> Also Iwa was jealous lol


	4. Food for Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reaching the half way point!

Hinata couldn't quite explain why he felt so nervous. He wasn't even an active participant of the third test. But now that it was Tuesday, and Kenma had just left to meet with the boys for a study session, his stomach churned. Kenma was going to let the others know that Hinata wasn’t feeling well, and at this rate, it wouldn’t even be a lie.

The third test was supposed to go like this: Kenma would set out some carefully laid questions in Kageyama's direction. Based on the question or response, Kenma would assign a point value for how good the answer was. In the end, the point values would be matched up to decide whether or not the test was a success.   
  


  
He looked to his ceiling, examining the string lights that curved along the corners. Taking a moment to breathe deep and try to rid himself of the nausea that came in waves with each thought. Just the day before he was telling Kenma that he didn't want to do another test, and though he wasn’t the one doing it, he still felt… Dirty. Wouldn’t it have been much easier to just ask Kageyama what this was about? Why did he have to spend days just messing with his and Kageyama's feelings just to make a point? When Kenma had first suggested the test, he didn't imagine it like this. What he imagined was under the table investigation so that he could get his answers without embarrassment. And although a part of him still felt that the embarrassment would have been worse, it didn't help ease the tension he bore now.

When Hinata thought about it he realized he didn’t know what questions Kenma was going to ask. He honestly didn’t know how much  _ Kenma _ even knew about him. What if Kenma had been too confident in bad questions and the test wasn’t accurate anyway? He had so many thoughts running through his head that he couldn’t take being in his room anymore.

In the end, he decided to go for a bike ride. Something physical was exactly what he thought he needed to get some of his nervous energy out.

The late afternoon glow lent a soft haze to the beachside he rode across. Scavenger birds did their rounds in the sky above, distant caws filling the air alongside the laughs of teens and kids alike. A colourful array of umbrellas filled the sand, each one adding a new hue to his peripheral while he sped by. He slowed down a bit to soak in the view of the water and life around it. 

The chatter of parents was subdued by the screams of children chasing and splashing. In the vast array of sounds he heard a couple giggling. Like the children, they ran from one another, shrieking as they chased their partner with kelp strung on the jagged tip of sticks and driftwood. When one could run no longer, they ceased their retreat, and attacked instead by grabbing hold of the others waist and embracing tight. Another fit of giggles burst from the two before they finally settled to holding hands gritted with sand and whispering what were likely sweet nothings and proclamations of love.

Hinata grit his teeth and he pedaled a little harder to pass them by faster. He couldn’t help but imagine himself in the scene. He couldn’t help but want that couple to be him and Kageyama instead. They had chased each other in similar ways plenty of times, but he longed for the tenderness that the two on the beach had. A punch to the shoulder or a rough tackle wasn't quite the intimacy that he desperately desired. He shook his head to rid himself of the thought and accidentally swerved his bike, narrowly avoiding a collision with a pedestrian.  _ Damnit _ . He pedaled with all his energy, not quite paying attention to where he was going, only with the intent to get away from the couples on the beach. 

When he found himself huffing and puffing he finally let up. He found himself now in a small mid-city park, trees spread sparsely about, and a small, kind of pathetic looking fountain in the centre. Hinata pulled his bike in sluggishly towards a weathered steel bench, where he dismounted and slouched into the seat with a huff. Knocking his head back he rubbed his eyes roughly with the heel of his palms. His sloped body was but a ragdoll against the metal as the last of his energy left him. 

Eyes red, despite the lack of tears he wished he could shed, gazed aimlessly at the fluttering leaves dangling low towards his head. He felt exhausted, just like he wanted, void of any energy at all. He was only pulled out of his melancholic daze with again the sound of laughter. Although this time harder and more rambunctious. His eyes slid lazily inside his sockets, sag to the left of his view. Here he saw a sideways view of two teenage boys sitting atop the stone fencing on the border of the park. The one closer to him looked to be a bit older, though not much taller. He had just passed what looked to be a worn sports card into the younger boys hand. Upon seeing the contents of the card, the younger boy shot off the fence, a shout of ‘NO WAY’ echoing over. The two of them enthusiastically discussed the cards, more being passed around as Hinata watched. The joy and excitement on each of their faces really resonated with Hinata. It felt like it was so long since he last had a passionate debate about teams and star players, who was at the top of the league and who his ideal team would be. It was something he and Kageyama used to do frequently, yet it was as if years had passed from the last time he remembered that feeling.

But what was stopping him from still having that? Had it just been the stupid bet? Or was it also the fear of what would come if the dynamic had changed between them? He wanted it again. Whether it was romantic or not, he missed his best friend.

When he rode his way back, he did a lot more thinking, though with a much clearer head. None of what they had been doing for the last four days made any sense to him. What he thought had been an ingenious plan turned out to only be the smack on the back of the head that he needed to make some real decisions for himself.

Now having arrived back at his residence building, he felt fired up as he locked his bike away and hurriedly shuffled his way inside. “Kenma?” He called out as he pushed through the door to their dorm. His roommate laid, legs crossed, along his bed, looking up just for a moment from his phone to give a light wave to the intruder. After a moment of Hinata just puffing in the doorway from his jog up the three flights of stairs to their floor, he settled into the room, putting down his things. 

Kenma finally set down his phone to address the other in the room. “So, about the test today…” He started, a strange look of nervousness on his face that was abnormal for him.

“Actually! Before you say anything- ” Hinata fiddled with his hands, pulling at his knuckles as the fear of telling Kenma how he felt set in. “Don't tell me the results”.

“Huh?”

Hinata let out a weak sigh before joining Kenma on the bed, curling his legs up underneath him. “I’ve decided that I don't want to know the result. I did a lot of thinking today. I'm sorry you went through the trouble to interrogate Kags but… I think I want to talk to him tomorrow, without some dumb test results throwing me off, no offence”. Kenma just shrugged. Some of the tension left his shoulders and he was able to relax a little. “I want to talk to him like normal, and just  _ ask him _ . At this point in our friendship we should be able to just talk about these things and not be afraid of the consequences, y’know?”

“If that's what you want then I won't tell you. It was kinda fun to do this kind of experiment regardless… Do you know what you’ll say to him though?” Beyond Kenma’s typically deadpan expression, Hinata thought he could feel some worry coming from his roommate. It warmed his heart a little. A silver lining to all the crap that he felt the past few days could be the growth in his and Kenma’s relationship.

“I'm not sure, but I'm also not really the type to think before speaking am I?” At that he received a small eyeroll and the faintest smirk.

“You’re right about that at least…” Hinata finally smiled, for probably the first time all week. He finally felt some confidence in himself as well. He had made a choice that, deep down, genuinely felt like a natural conclusion, like his instincts were back.

After their evening routine, they went to their respective beds and Hinata felt like he could breathe again. At the very root of all of this, Kageyama was his best friend. They had been for years, and especially within the last, having grown so much closer. Even if he might ultimately panic or possibly cry when he approached Kageyama, at least it would be a  _ real _ interaction, and he could just speak his mind. Overall, whatever the outcome, he knew it was right to just speak to his friend like they always had. Beating around the bush was never something either of them had ever been good at, and that wasn't going to start then. Hinata fell asleep with a good feeling in his chest. 

Things would be alright.


	5. Flight or Flight

Kageyama laid in bed, staring at his blank ceiling, the vacant white taunting him with its emptiness. He felt cold, but not in the physical way; like there was ice in his mind rather than in his veins. There was an emptiness that plagued him for days now, and although he understood the difference, it had taken him a few of those days to really acknowledge it. He only really felt the page missing in his book of life earlier that afternoon, during a strange conversation with Kenma. He recalled it as such being that the other man wouldn’t _stop talking_ . In particular, he blabbered on and on about _Hinata_. With any other person it would have felt entirely normal. But with Kenma, his constant vocalisations of thought felt eerie instead.

With no sound but Tsukishima breathing on the other side of the room, and the dark around him, he felt overwhelmed by just how _empty_ the start of the week had felt. _This is all my fault_ . He rolled in bed thinking about all the better ways that he could have spoken to Hinata. All the different things he could have said instead of making an idiotic _bet_. It was such an impulse decision that he couldn't quite say that he even remembered making it. It's what he and Hinata did. They played around, they joked, they made useless wagers. It was just what they did. So when he made another one after Hinata’s heart accelerating question, it felt too natural to stop himself midway through speaking. From the moment he said it until the end of the day on friday, he had thought it was received by Hinata well. But the start of the next day proved that very wrong, seeing as his best friend started blatantly avoiding him. He thought it was weird to start with, but so many parts of his brain had given the other man excuses, there were plenty of plausible reasons for Hinata to have to disappear at least twelve times over the span of two days… Right?

It had been some time since Kageyama had noticed his feelings change for his best friend. When they touched hands or maybe fiddled with something on the other's body, the touch lingered, and he started to long for it. Although he had known for a while before the bet, he still had hesitance to label it as something like a crush. It was Hinata he was thinking about, could he really have a crush on him? The answer was Yes, and by a lot.

After figuring that fact out, it was the only thing he could ever think about, to the point that it had become detrimental. When his schoolwork started feeling the effects, he knew he had to say _something_. But how could he just tell his closest friend since highschool that he suddenly had overwhelming romantic feelings for him? He had thought over and over about how that would change their friendship, and then his dumbass blurted it out in the least eloquent way possible.

Kageyama spent all of Sunday debating to himself why it was that Hinata was ignoring him, and he had two conclusions: he just needed to gather his own thoughts, and when he was ready they would talk, OR, Hinata hated him for being so stupid and never wanted to talk to him again. Both were very plausible in his mind.

Having spent two straight days withering under his own thoughts, he was overcome with anxiety when he finally saw Hinata’s face again on monday morning. The panic filled his mind and he almost thought to escape. Then Hinata said ‘Hi’, and relief filled his heart despite his still racing mind. That felt like a stepping stone, but Kageyama could not have imagined just how _awkward_ he or Hinata would be. And it was _bad_. Every second between Hinata’s first words to him that day and Hinata jumping out of his seat after lecure was a mind numbing blur, nothing went in, and nothing went out, his brain was frozen.

Kageyama continued to recount every moment from the past few days in aching detail. His cozy covers and soft pillow were no comfort to him when he got to the memory of Hinata suggesting a date with Oikawa, of all people. His stomach churned with discomfort at the idea of Hinata dancing with someone else as well. He remembered just how curdling the nausea felt in that moment, that the only reasonable response was to run away before the old breakfast in his gut could come spewing back out. Hinata really didn’t like him back. At all.

His muscles tensed his whole body as he turned to the side. With every recollection, he relived the heartbreaking feelings from their study session, when Kenma insistently poked him with the exact name that made his heart clench.

He regretted this bet with every particle of his being. He fucked up his relationship with the friend who meant the most to him in this world. It was all his fault and he didn’t know how to fix it, he didn’t know if he even _could_ fix it.

Eventually, he fell asleep.

\--

When he woke up, he felt crappier than ever before in his life, and it was only getting worse. He felt so out of control. He used to have perfect grades, he used to have composure and kept good habits. But that was a Kageyama of the past, as this week led him into a deep pit of nervousness in just about everything he did.

Much like Monday, Kageyama and Hinata had class together. Kageyama was running late, and he absolutely wouldn’t say it was entirely on purpose, he wouldn’t. 

As he raced to Kinesiology, the dread in his chest sunk deeper and deeper into him with every bound. The fear he felt to see Hinata was indescribable and he would do everything in his power to make it as short of an experience as possible.

Just as the hour hand ticked on the analog behind the large projector screens of the class, he made it into the hall. Thanks to his lateness, each of the seats on either side of Hinata had already been filled, and as the Professor began his lecture, any chance to get anywhere closer to Hinata near the front was lost. He was thankfully forced to take a seat within the back rows.

Although he couldn’t stop the anxious shake to his leg and the incessant tapping of his pen on the notebook before him, he managed to take some actual notes, for the first time this week.

Nearing the end of the session, Kageyama began to lose focus again. He started drifting away from his notes, imagining what he would do when they were inevitably let out, and Hinata would, or would not, attempt to go for lunch with him, like they always did. If Hinata didn't come to him, that would be great! But… It would also just prove to him further that Hinata didn't want to be with him anymore, in any context. If he did approach, Kageyama wasn’t sure if he would run, or try to play it cool. It was just lunch.

As the students began to rise from their chairs, Kageyama was forced to follow the flow of traffic, being one of the first out of the class. The sea of people moved along into the corridor and Kageyama saw a chance to flee. He soon approached the side doors of the building, almost to freedom before a hand grasped his shoulder and a chill skated down his spine.

“Hey! Kageyama…” Hinata looked as nervous as he felt. His stomach sunk. _It’s bad news, I know it’s bad news, I have to go…_ Hinata shuffled them off to the side, avoiding the rush of students making it to their next classes. Kageyama watched Hinata fidget, wringing his hands together, over and over, the expression on his face degrading to a painful grimace. “Look, about what you said on Friday… You know, the bet? I-” Hinata’s eyes flung from their gaze on the floor to Kageyama’s face when Kageyama had abruptly gripped his shoulder, hand shaking.

“The last few days, just- Just forget them! Forget I said anything, I regret it. Pretend I never said anything, the bet, anything else you might be thinking, forget it. I can’t-” Kageyama had started and finished speaking before he acknowledged that he was already speeding away from Hinata. He heard a distant call of his name, that he shook off. His usual composure was out the window and he turned from fast walking to sprinting. Tripping slightly as he rounded the corner at the end of the long hallway, he only stopped when he knew that Hinata hadn’t followed him, huffing painfully with the beginning of tears in his eyes.

_I ruined everything, I fucked it all up, it's over. Why did I make that stupid bet? Why did I say anything at all? You selfish asshole why couldn't you just keep it to yourself. Stupid, stupid, stupid…_

His form crumpled to the ground as he tried to breath, he needed to calm down. Having a panic attack in the middle of the hallway was _not_ a good idea.

\--

He wasn't sure how long he shook, eyes against his knees, knuckles white with the grip he had on his pants. After some time had passed, after he was able to feel the air in his lungs again, he felt a tug on his bicep.

“Yama... Yama! Hey, Kageyama!” With a jerk that almost sent him toppling, he finally looked to the intruder.

“Tsukishima…”

The same bicep being gripped was pulled up harshly, forcing him to his feet. The light was abrasive, making him blink to properly see his roommate in front of him. He was surprised it was Tsukishima of all people who found him, although Kagyama didn’t know his schedule all that well. “Why… are you here?”

  
“What do you mean why am I here? Why are _you_ here? Crying? C’mon.” The taller man pushed Kageyama forward until he could move his legs on his own. Kageyama was confused, his mind foggy from the emotion. He could only acknowledge that Tsukishima was taking him back to their dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip, im so sorry


	6. The Person You've Tried to Contact is Unavailable...

“What the fuck happened?” Tsukishima sat in his swivel chair, arms crossed, eyes piercing.

Kageyama had finally begun to regain some semblance of thought, now that he stood in their room and not the bustling hallway he last recalled. Not that he _could_ think straight again, he felt embarrassed, but he was still _thinking_. What he’d just done? Yeah that was stupid. How would he ever speak to Hinata again? Not to mention all the people who must have seen him in the hallway looking like a weak, kicked puppy. He honestly wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing that Tsukki was the one that found him, who knew what he’d say? It seemed Kageyama spent too long glaring at the carpet instead of responding.

“Dude, seriously. You’ve been nothing like yourself lately, were you having a panic attack?” His voice didn’t sound judging, but his ever furrowed brows didn’t really suggest otherwise. Kageyama only had the heart to shrug. He had felt so many forgein emotions in the last weeks, and he didn’t know how to explain any of them, because he didn’t understand them himself. He especially didn't want to explain his mushy gushy feelings about Hinata to Tsukishima, no less his own stupid actions that led him to his spot on the hallway floor. But the longer Tsukki’s stare persisted, he felt his will to keep silent weaken.

“I… I have feelings for Hinata”.

“Yeah? And?” Tsukishima all but laughed. And then seconds later, he did laugh, surely at the bug eyed fish Kageyama had turned into.

“Wha- ? What do you mean?!”

“I meeeaaaan, I already knew that, or at least suspected. But what does that have to do with you right now?” Finally, his face softened. Kageyama was able to deal with his abrasive attitude for only so long, and at that moment, he didn’t have the energy to.

He thought for a moment, if Tsukishima already knew… Did the others also know? Not that it mattered, because the only one he cared to know surely hated him by this point. Finding the words to express the hellscape of things that had occurred that afternoon was an incredible task, but eventually he was able to speak.

“On friday I told him how I feel, or… I sort of did”. At the crook of Tsukki’s eyebrow, he elaborated. “I made a bet. Something stupid like ‘whoever says I love you first’ something, something”.

“Yeah that is stupid-” The dirty look he got knew no bounds.

“-and I thought he took it well, but he started avoiding me, then suggested I go on a date with someone else… I freaked out today. I lost my shit and then broke down. That's why you found me like… y’know...” He slumped against their shared wardrobe, his sore shoulders stung from the impact.

Tsukishima pushed forward in his seat with a sigh. “That makes a lot of things make sense at least. What did Hinata say?”

It was a simple question that should have had a simple answer, but when Kageyama recalled the interaction from earlier, he felt heat rise in his face. “Well I… I didn't really let him say anything”. He tensed up his face as he recounted the prior events, what was Hinata going to say? “He started but it was a rejection and that's why I ran away.”

“The King, his highness, _ran?_ You _ran away?!?_ ” The blonde began to laugh hysterically. Kageyama let out a grunt as he turned to smack his forehead into the wood of the closet. 

“Shut uuuuuuupppppp”. _Smack, smack… Smack._

Kageyama could hear the smirk in his voice. “Well that was a pretty dumb thing to do. The shrimp is too mindless to be _that_ mad. You should have heard him out. Just talk to him, _properly_ ”.

Kageyama knew he was right, not that he’d ever admit so, but he didn’t like that he was right either. If Tsukishima was right, it meant that Kageyama could have avoided it, but made it much worse. _Have I always been this dense?_

\--

A few hours had passed since the _incident_ , and he knew Hinata would be getting out of his last class of the day very soon. So he waited just a bit past the lecture hall, nervously clenching and unclenching his fists as he awaited for the doors to open. But when they finally did, he watched every person leave, and none of them were Hinata.

\--

When he found himself back in his dorm, he felt lost. Why hadn’t Hinata been in class? He never missed class. This time though, he didn’t have Tsukishima telling him not to be an idiot, he was in another class. Did Hinata skip because of what happened? Was it something else? Was he okay!?

Kageyama had specifically wanted to see Hinata in person, and he purposely didn’t tell him he was coming so that he could avoid being rejected.

That failed, obviously.

So he debated the pros and cons of going to Hinata’s dorm, or maybe calling him. One had the chance of Hinata not being there _again_ , and the other had the chance of him just not picking up. The latter was his final choice.

Holding the phone in his hand, dial screen staring up at him, he felt scared. He had so many doubts running through his head, the thing that pushed him to hit ‘call’ was the small chance that Tsukki was right, that it would probably be okay.

_Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring._ No answer. Okay, that didn’t mean all was lost, right? Maybe he just didn't hear his phone. Kageyama tried to slow the pace of his heart. _It’s okay, everything is okay._ He dialed the number again.

  
 _Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring- “...”_ The silence was deafening.

“Hello..? Hinata?”

Then he heard a strained huff. “Okay look, I don't get what's going on with you. I don't get what's making you act this way but I can't deal with it alright? I can't deal with you being all _this way_ then _that way_ and _bleh_ and not saying anything! But at this point I don't want to hear what you have to say, Bakageyama! I'm busy, and tired, and stressed, about you AND everything else I normally have and I just don’t want to deal with it anymore!! Don't- Dont call me again!” And he hung up. Kageyama wished he hadn’t heard the crack in Hinata’s voice.

Kageyama felt his knees buckle beneath him, and the weight of his body became too much. Grasping for his bed as he sunk to the floor, his hands felt too numb to feel the fabric under his fingers.

Fuck.

Tsukishima was wrong, and everything had become so much worse than it should have been. He never could have anticipated that Hinata would give up on him like that. As much as he told himself that Hinata hated him and that he didn’t care about him anymore, Kageyama knew it wasn’t true. Or so he had thought.

\--

“-ayama! Kageyama! Wake up! You have class”.

His eyes fluttered open, the view above him was still blurry and he attempted to rub the sleep away with his sluggish arm. “Mmvwhat time is it?”

“Well past nine”.

“WHAT?” Kageyama shot up in bed grasping for his phone, reading the time, 9:36AM... “Why didn't you wake me sooner?!” His eyes blazed from his phone to where his roommate had ventured after successfully stirring him. The other had clearly just showered, given his sopping hair and the towel resting on his shoulders. Tsukishima just shrugged before he started his morning stretches. That jackass definitely could have woken him up before he missed his 9AM class. Kageyama swung his legs off his bed before his mind gave a start. He wasn’t under his covers, nor did he actually remember going to bedt. “When did you come home last night?”

Tsukishima gave a deep yawn. “Hng, probably around seven? Maybe seven thirty. You were already asleep”.

Kageyama started to remember the hour or two in which he did, well, absolutely nothing at all. It wasn’t surprising that in the time that he had found himself staring at his ceiling once again, that he’d drifted off to sleep. But… That meant he had slept upwards of 14 hours! His head slammed back into the embrace of his pillow. _Tsukki was right, I'm nothing like myself…_

Having missed the only class he had that day, there was really nothing he could will himself to do. 1PM was when the group normally had their Tuesday/Thursday study sessions, and being the only thing that was consistent about his schedule, Kageyama's mind drifted to that. Would Hinata be there? There was only one way to find out.

After hours of _trying_ to study on his own, and ultimately getting no work done, it was finally time to head out to the central library for their study session. He would go. He had to, for the chance that he could maybe see Hinata.

\--

6 flights of stairs later, he reached their meeting floor. He stood very still in front of the fire-exit door as he decided if he still wanted to see what was on the other side of it. There was a chance that if he opened that door he could see Hinata smiling and laughing with the other boys on the far side of the room. But there was also a chance that… No, he could do this!

The door swung forward and he took one step before proverbial ice water poured down his spine, having found the very heart wrenching lack of orange hair at their usual table. He took a few more gazing sweeps but the results were still the same. Hinata hadn’t come.


	7. Melt Down

Hinata hadn’t come that day, nor did he go to their shared class the next day. Actually, he didn't go to any of the group's meet ups either.

Each time Kageyama was faced with the disappointment of not seeing Hinata’s face, his mood became more foul. He was snappy and blunt, often just downright rude, and he couldn’t stop himself. Kuroo complained a number of times over the span of Saturday about how ‘Bitchy’ Kageyama was being. He just couldn’t help it. The lack of Hinata’s presence was driving him insane, and worse, the guilt was eating him alive. 

He never could have imagined how bad the bet would turn out.

He stewed for hours and hours on all the things he could have done better, about all the far superior things he could have said. Anything that could have saved their now crumbling friendship. Things hadn’t been normal for a whole week, and it showed. Even with the others he could tell there was a stunt in the group dynamic, and it was all  _ his fault _ .

Hinata had always been the tie to keep the five of them together going into university. Sure, they were all friends going in, but they all had vastly different schedules and if it weren’t for Hinata, he was certain they would have drifted. Sometimes he’d be a bit sad thinking back to all their friends in highschool, and all the ones he no longer talked to. Update messages here and there weren't even close to the same as the crap they'd get into together after classes. Now it was just him, Hinata, Tsukishima, Kenma and Kuroo. But… at that point was it even true anymore? It felt that every time they were all together, excluding Hinata, there was a constant lull, in just about everything. The others obviously knew that something was amiss, but it was not like any of them would  _ talk _ about it.

He tried so hard to skew away from the drowning guilt and the echoes of  _ fault, your fault _ in his head, but it was futile. As Friday and Saturday had passed and gone, so did any last bit of mental energy he had remaining.

It was then Sunday and Kageyama was so on edge we could very well have been a blade. Nobody but Tsukishima still held the patience to engage with him.

They had spent the morning playing video games as Tsukki’s idea of ‘de-stressing’ but as Tsukishima accumulated more and more kill points against him, Kageyama began to lose his cap. “For the love of fucking GOD TSUKISHIMA! Have some mercy!!! JACKASS!” Another kill for Tsukki had Kageyama chucking his controller to his mattress. He knocked his head back to the wall, a light grunt of pain escaping him.

“What. I thought we were playing a peaceful game?” He chuckled darkly at Kageyama. What he got in return was a pillow to the face. “Ack! Dude!”

“Fuck off.” Kageyama turned to sulk, grabbing for some of his textbooks, not that he planned to actually  _ read _ them. Kageyama felt bad every time he did this to someone. He didn’t  _ want _ to be such a grouch. If he had the power, he would have waved a magic wand and put a bandaid over everything. But such thoughts were just fairytales in his tired mind, and the only things that he managed to think clearly. Oh, if everything were okay again.   
  
“Tch, I'm getting real tired of this. Can you just apologise to him?” Kageyama tucked his face further into his book, unwilling to look at the other…

His eyes peaked just over the cover. “And what the hell am I supposed to say? What makes you think he’ll even talk to me, given the last few days?”

That felt like a valid question. Just a few nights before, Hinata had told him that he no longer wanted to deal with Kageyama. It didn't feel like that gave him much room to say  _ anything _ . He felt the weight of Hinata’s words fall on him again, despite the strenuous efforts he had been going through to ignore them. And yet as usual, the shitty little voice in the back of his head reminded Kageyama that he was the reason Hinata said anything in the first place. Kageyama never thought he could regret anything as much as he regretted this.

“Frankly, I dont give a shit what you say, but you have to say  _ something _ ”. He didn’t receive a response so he continued. “It's just Hinata. Stop moping around and get your shit together. When have you ever had a problem telling him what you think?” The insult in the last sentence wasn’t hard to grasp, successfully reminding Kageyama of all the times in highschool that he ‘spoke his mind’. Tsukishima was right of course, and he spoke again. “I don’t want to hear another word from you that isn't you thanking me for putting up with your crap”. With that, Tsukki grabbed his wallet and keys before traversing the threshold to the door, leaving Kageyeama alone in the dorm.

\--

By the time the evening came, Kageyama had made some decisions. Those being what led him to stand outside of Hinata’s room door. After some very pleading texts to Kenma, he had managed to get the other to tell him when Hinata would be in the room alone. Kageyama was at first shocked by Kenma’s willingness to cooperate, but it occurred to him that this was likely affecting Kenma on a personal level too, being Hinata’s roommate. The guilt that filled him endlessly rushed again, forming a pit in his stomach. He really hurt  _ everyone _ with this. In the end of their conversation he promised to ‘owe him one’ in the future. He finally set out from his own dorm when he got the ‘Ok’ text from Kenma.

Every time he thought about what he should tell Hinata, the course of action in his mind changed. He was so tired of making stupid mistakes, of just not saying the right thing. But he didn't know what the ‘right’ thing was. And at that point, he wasn’t sure if telling the truth was even an option anymore. Because the truth felt too real, and too personal, just too much. Before long, he found himself lifting his hand to the wood.

Two measly knocks later, and some shuffling heard beyond the door, the barrier between them swung open to reveal the face he longed to see.

But Hinata looked tired. More tired than Kageyama thought he had ever seen him.

The bags under his eyes seemed to deepen his sockets, making his eyes look even larger than they typically were. When they moved slowly from where he grabbed the door handle up to the visitor of his room, the emotion in them changed drastically. His voice cracked. “Yama…” Hinata’s face showed some surprise to see him standing there. Though, after not seeing someone for so long when they were usually commonplace, it  _ should _ be surprising. Hinata didn't close the door.

“Hinata, I wanted to talk. If that's… alright?” He felt unsure, and it could be heard in his voice. It wavered unnaturally and it took force to get the sounds out of him.

“I uhh… I guess so?” Hinata seemed to be avoiding eye contact, apparently the ground was more of a comfort than his face.

“I just want to start-”, a breath, “I'm sorry! Hinata, I'm sorry for all of this. I didn’t know that making such a dumb bet would do this to our relationship. I hate not hanging out and being together in class. Can we just… go back to normal?” Kageyama tried to search for Hinata’s eyes, urging him to look back up at him.

When he did, they were watery. “Normal?” The way the word drifted out of him with such a sense of melancholy was astounding. Not once had he ever heard a single word be packed with such intensity. It was a word he thought about a lot those days, but it almost felt uncomfortable coming from Hinata.

“Yeah, like things were before the bet. I didn’t mean to make things complicated, so let's not complicate them”. He hoped with every part of his being that Hinata would accept that. He didn’t care how, he just wanted Hinata back in his life. Though, in the split second until Hinata’s response, he filtered through all the ways what he just said could have been read wrong. They sounded a bit too harsh if he had been honest with himself. But to the best of his ability, that's what he thought Hinata wanted to hear.

“I’m sorry Kageyama”. Hinata’s eyes began to drift down again. Kageyama didn’t know why Hinata was apologising. “I don’t think that's possible”. 

And the door closed before him, leaving Kageyama static in the hallway, frozen from the impact of those words.


	8. You Lose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we gO BOIS

The world didn't feel real anymore.

Hinata didn’t feel the same, but did it really mean that they couldn't be friends still? Was Hinata so disturbed by Kageyama’s feelings that he couldn't be around him? He felt hurt, to say the least. He had understood the chances of that being true, he had stewed over it for so long before the bet. But the reality of it brought so much more pain than he could have imagined.

He wanted to see Hinata smile again, to hear him laugh from a stupid thing  _ he _ said. He wanted to goof around and have useless talks about whatever came to mind. He  _ missed _ Hinata, and it only crushed him more with each mistake and each rejection. The times that would then never come again because Hinata didn’t accept his feelings, and because he was so stupid to spit them out to begin with.

It felt unfair. Why did he develop these feelings? Did the universe believe he deserved to suffer for them? If he could have chosen to rid those feelings from his heart just so that he could continue to be with Hinata in any other way, he would have done so in a heartbeat.

Part of him also felt like a fool. Before this all happened, when he had weighed the options of telling Hinata how he felt, a very large portion had actually  _ believed _ Hinata might feel the same. It was something about how their physical dynamic changed, and how much warmer each one of Hinata’s actions felt. But it must have just been under the guise of his own feelings that it had felt like that. With every thought Kageyama blamed himself more and more. How could he have lied to himself like that? And to take Hinata down with him… 

It was a good thing the semester was close to over, then Hinata could finally be free of him.

The evening was spent in a numb stasis. The only part of himself he could still feel was the crushing weight of his heart.

\--

He managed to wake up on time for his Monday morning classes. He said only a few words to Tsukishima on his way out of their living space. Although it was such a small interaction, it felt as though all of his social reserves had already been depleted. He was sluggish, tired, moody, and most of all, kind of depressed. 

Over some time of all that was going on, it started to feel like his classes didn’t really matter, like even if he did put in his all as he usually would, it wouldn't make a difference. He didn’t believe it was Hinata’s fault, and it wasn't even the fault of his absence either. For over a straight week, he did nothing but make stupid mistake after stupid mistake and beat himself up costantly. His self worth was at a critical low, which as it happens, wasn't great for academic morale. It also wasn’t any secret that he had not focused on his work for far longer than that. Distraction was a killer to motivation.

He sat through both classes, each of them barely hazing by. His notes were garbage, his understanding of the content was even worse.

He had an hour break before his class with Hinata,  _ if _ Hinata was even going to go, and he chose to loiter around the main yard of the Biology building. He knew Hinata would be in a class right now but he didn't want to take the risk of running into him. Finding a small grass clearing, he laid down with his backpack as a makeshift pillow. As he looked to the clouds he finally seemed to find some clarity of mind.

Kageyama thought back to the few things Tsukishima had said over the past couple of days. Was there something he was missing? He felt it was true when Tsukki said that Hinata couldn't be this mad. The rejection wouldn't stop hurting, but Hinata reacting so harshly didn’t make sense. From everything that happened, the order of events felt very abnormally mixed as well.

Ah. How could he have missed it?

Throughout that whole time, not once did Kageyama ask how Hinata  _ felt _ . There really was only so much you could take at face value.

_ What did he want to tell me that day? _ If he could have calmed down and listened to his friend, would they still be that now? Friends? Hinata looked nervous that day, but not mad, not upset. Maybe he had been reading it all wrong from the beginning.

\--

When he arrived to their 12PM lecture, he didn’t see Hinata, as per what was becoming usual. Facing the friendless room, he chose to just go to their regular seats, just right of front-centre. He awaited the class to start just so it could end. He wanted to get through this quickly.   
  


This was honestly his least favourite professor. Despite it being his favorite subject, the Old Bat had a skill to make everything he taught sound like a pile of garbage. It led to a lot of self study on his part. When the grumpy old man began his lecture, Kageyama used every piece of his willpower not to zone out the sound of his grating voice.

The last thing he expected though, was to be called to the front by him immediately after wrapping up the lecture. As the rest of the students filed out of the large hall, he slowly made his way to the podium at the centre of the stage.

His steps staggered as he neared, and he kept his chin low, only barely making eye contact. “Professor? You wanted to see me?” He gulped.

“Did I  _ want _ to see you? What a question! No, I don't want to see you! If I wanted you in my presence it would be for a scheduled office appointment and you would have something to be actually proud of for it!!” His round wrinkled face shook with the anger he dished out, gesturing wildly with his hands. Kageyama resisted the urge to take a step back.

“Professor, I don’t think I understand”.

“Do you understand  _ anything? _ ” He spit and Kageyama flinched, trying to keep some level of composure. He had never faced this kind of berating from a teacher in his life. “Kageyama Tobio, your most recent assignment was trash! And I called you my star student? You don't even deserve to be called a good student with such blatant inconsistency. For weeks now you've been just about as bright as a scarecrow! I had such big hopes for you, even maybe taking you under me for a research project. But this, this is an embarrassment beyond measure”.   
  
“Sir I-”

“NO! No, no, no. I don't want to hear any excuses from you! You have done better and I expect better! I expect perfection, and you better get it to me before eight thirty tomorrow morning!” Kageyama was dumbfounded as he stared at his angry red cheeks. He knew, to some amount, that he had been favoured in that class but not so much to the extent that he’d get  _ this _ . He didn’t know what to do. There was no way such a steep request could be done, and he felt heat rise to his neck with the overwhelming fear of failure starting to take him over.

“HEY!” Both men were shocked out of their staring contest with the shout from the entrance. Kageyama felt his chest jolt, it was Hinata’s voice. “You big jerk! You can't speak to Kageyama like that!!” The shorter man began to stomp his way into the classroom. Kagyema became statue still as he watched him approach with about as much energy as a firing engine.

“Excuse me? Hinata Shouyou, what is this insolence-”

“Shut up! I don’t care if you're my teacher! That isn’t how you talk to students, and especially not Kageyama”. Shock ran through Kageyama's veins at the series of events playing before him. He had never heard Hinata say anything close to that to another person, a Professor no less. He had a hand on one hip, and the other started poking accusingly at the offender. “Kageyama is one of the brightest, most incredible people I know! You’re blind to not see what an amazing student he is. For the entire semester he had been your top student, and what? He slipped just a little and now he’s dead to you? You’re ungrateful, and not worthy to have such a wonderful student. Now you’ll give him a week to rewrite that report or I’ll take this matter to the Dean’s office, and I'm certainly not bluffing!!!” Hinata then grabbed Kageyama's hand, pulling him out of the class and around the hall corner. He was huffing with the exertion of doing probably the most  _ badass  _ thing Kageyama had ever seen in his entire school life. Kageyama just followed obediently like a ragdoll behind him.

“Are you okay?” Hinata grabbed his shoulders, searching his eyes for anything he could find. A few pats to his sleeve, tilting his head this what and that, like he was trying to sniff out injury. Kageyama was completely warmed by the care and attention that he had not received in so long.

“Hinata… Why- Why are you here?” Assessing Kageyama as at least functional, he sighed and pulled back a bit. Before he could completely retreat, Kageyama grabbed his wrist.

“I came to apologise to you… At least that was what I was going to do before that jerkface started going off. Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. But that aside… I- I haven’t been fair. And I know that. I haven’t been myself lately and I know that too. It's not your fault that you don't return my feelings...”  _ Wait what? _ “I was just so afraid that you’d think I was creepy and that I was an idiot for taking your silly bet seriously. So yes, we can still be friends. We can go back to norm-”

“I love you”. The three words came out of him before he knew he was saying them. But by god did it feel so good to finally get them out.

Hinata shot him a piercing gaze. Kageyama could see the tears well up in his eyes. “Wait what..? Y- You do?” The uncertainty in his voice made Kageyama smile.

His hand slipped from Hinata’s wrist to thread their fingers together. “Hah, yeah. I really do. I love you”. Hinata smiled back.

  
“I love you too!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it! The end of the story... But wait!
> 
> Theres more!
> 
> Please be sure to read what I like to call "The Credit Roll", where you will finally get to see the lovely artwork that accompanies this work!!!


	9. The Initial Reaction

A bet is a bet, Kageyama knew that most of all, and nothing, _NOTHING,_ was going to kick his pride enough to go back on his word. _He_ made this bet afterall.

And at this moment when Kageyama stared at his reflection, secluded in his dorm washroom, there was a crowd waiting out in the residence hallway.

You see, when Hinata, not so casually, let the bet slip to the rest of the boys, no one had really believed it at first. It’s not that any of them were surprised by the confession by any means, if anything, they were relieved that it was finally done and over with. What _did_ surprise them was the seriousness Kageyama held for the bet. It was certain that if he had asked, begged even, oh so very nicely, his small ginger companion would have definitely let him off the hook, but such a plea was nowhere to be seen. Not to mention the obligation he felt to Hinata for all the crap he put his poor partner through. So as a result of that, here were their friends huddling at the door mat, eagerly waiting for Tobio to cross the barrier of the thin piece of wood that was hiding what was bound to be _legendary_.

As Tobio approached the door, with his jumper hood hiked up and over his forehead, he could hear the giggling and chatter outside. _Oh g o d s he didn’t want to do this._ Taking a big breath in, eyes closed, he swung the door open. The air seemed to stagnate in anticipation for the mere seconds before the hood was swiped off his brow. With the force in which his head was exposed, his eyes popped open just in time for the tsunami of camera flashes and the roar of laughter.

In what felt like slow motion, he took in the display before him.

First to react was Hinata, on the ground in a split second, being overrun with ab crunching laughter. Tsukkishima in the centre back was taking full advantage of his height to get every one of Kageyama’s angles, not a hair to be left uncaptured. On his left was Kenma choking out a very audible snort, with a sleeve over his smile. The showstopper of course being Kuroo, laughing like a madman on a rampage, filling Kageyama with an indescribable sense of discomfort.

What the others saw before them was a ghostly looking man, with a mess of straw textured “hair” on the top of his head. His roots were a sad mix of dark brassy oranges and burgundies, the main parts of his hair being the birth child of _Tron_ meets _Pepto bismol_. And finally, the fried tips of this abomination were a platinum peachy yellow, bearing resemblance to something you would find in an 80’s furniture catalog.

  
Before his friends- no, _betrayers_ could catch him, Kageyama darted back into his room with a slam and the lock of a deadbolt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a very very special thanks to [Captain Bonan](https://twitter.com/chaosloaf1), [Vendy](https://twitter.com/Tall_Oddball) and [Izu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/izuchi) for being such an incredible team to work with!


	10. The Social Media Scroll

Finally being back to a Tuesday study session should have felt fantastic with them all together again. Key words being ‘should have’.

That afternoon the five of them were all lounging around a cluster of small tables, engaging in slow chitter chatter here and there. It was peaceful, that was, until Kageyama opened instagram. As he scrolled through the first few images on his feed, he began to whine. Kuroo leaned over his shrinking form to see what the matter was, then he began laughing.

“EheHEAHAHAH!! GUYS! EHAHA! Who- Aha! Who posted today?!?” The other boys gave curious looks before pulling out their own devices. Each began to giggle, one after the other.

As Kageyama opened and closed every app that he owned, he couldn’t escape the image of his own face… And his… Hair… 

Instagram, then twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, from every person he could identify from his department. He was  _ everywhere!  _ And from every god forsaken angle!

“Pfttt! Look at this!” Tsukishima had a shit eating grin on his face and Kageyama didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of looking at the screen. “Heh. It's posted on the Uni Social page too”.

“nngghHGAAAAA”, Kageyama’s forehead hit the table with his exclamation, grasping his head for shelter. “Whhyyyy-...” He let out pathetically.

  
He felt a few pats on the back. He was sure they were  _ supposed _ to be reassuring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor kags


	11. The Old Lady Glare

It was a warm and sunny day, and Kagyema was spending it with Hinata. Together they walked down an outer path of the University drive, chatting and basking in the sun on this rare day. 

They had just exited the local combini with bags and bags of all the snacks Hinata could have asked for. They fully intended to spend the day out in the open air, stuffing their faces.   
  


They had just crossed the street when an old lady with a scrappy little dog approached in front of them. They stepped a little to the side to make room for her to pass.

“Crappy delinquent”. The old lady scoffed under her breath. Sticking her nose further in the air she pulled her shitty dog along, away from sniffing their ankles.

Kageyama let out a whine, letting his shoulders slouch, unending defeat seemingly all around him.

“Shshh it's okay”. Hinata tried, before wrapping his hand around Kageyama’s waist. With a big smooshy kiss to Kageyama's cheek he whispered a small ‘thank you’ to the other man, before grabbing his free hand and walking cheerily forward. Kageyama was such a gracious loser now.

Kageyama smiled at the back of Hinata’s fluffy head of hair. 

He promises he didn’t blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


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